Welcome to Khaos Komix
on January 14, 2013 at 11:28 amKhaos Komix is a GLBTWTFBBQ Comic that ran from 2009-2012. It has over 500 pages is now complete with an archive for you to browse at your leisure.
You can either Start from the beginning or read about each couple.
(Trigger warnings for EVERYTHING and nothing is safe for work.)
For those of you finished with Khaos, I present Shades of A over on my new site Discord.
[ 10 Comments ]
I hate this discussion!! Trans-plaining is *SUCH* a pain!!
This is the argument I have with myself all the time.
Still, I love the way Charlie’s mom views gender.
Yes, I have this argument with myself too. Painful. But it’s mainly because I’m afraid of coming out, so I keep telling myself that I could live all my life without transitioning (which would also make me celibate and possibly friendless, haha U.U). Also, I don’t want to hurt my parents.
oh noooo, celibate and friendless is a sad outcome =(
Yeah, I felt just like you until I developed a panic disorder that eventually forced me out, because it became a non-choice between staying closeted, and having life-disrupting seizures. If you can possibly do this for yourself and come out before things get that bad, please, please do.
Also, the first time you find a crush who likes you back for who you really are is worth it. It really is.
I am androgynous although I am pretty sure I lean towards being the opposite sex. I can’t transition though. I can’t imagine ever being convincing and also I am my fathers only son and I really don’t want to hurt him… Most nights though my dreams consist of what it would be like to be female.
I’m a happily heterosexual cis-female and I have plenty of dreams where I’m male. They’re usually fun and adventurous. In some of them, I’m a gay male, in others a straight male. Awake, I’m happy being female.
I hate people who try to say “Boys can wear dresses too, and they aren’t girls because of it”.
Yeah. They can. There are plenty of completely straight crossdressing men. Who don’t do it because they want to get off on wearing a dress, but because they’re comfortable like that.
But sometimes stereotypes are all we have to identify with.
Yeah, the Scots figured that one out many hundreds of years ago. Try to tell a Scot that wearing a kilt is girly and he’ll fucking rip you a new one.
If it’s being said to try and discourage someone from being a transwoman, then I can empathize. However when I say things like that, it’s meant as encouragement, to empower someone to be who they feel they are no matter what they’re wearing. IE – “The heels aren’t what make you a woman. Feel free to wear them if you like em, but don’t ever think that your being a woman depends on what your wearing.” I feel that people shouldn’t have to justify their feelings, and they shouldn’t have to prove their trans (especially not through what they’re wearing). If you like wearing something, then that’s reason enough, but that’s not what makes you trans. It may be a source of affirmation, and tha’s a good thing. Point is, women who like blue jeans and sneakers are no less women than those who like stilettos.
In Charlie’s case, I get what you mean. I love Heather’s perception on gender, but Charlie’s point is valid too. It’s not what she does or what she wears that makes her a woman, it’s just who she is and how she feels. Everything else follows from that.
I totally feel Charlie’s mom here. As a female (err, biologically and physically, is there a better word for that?) who works with a lot of guys, I’ve kind of reached a middle where I don’t usually self-identify as “feminine”, I usually just identify as “human”. So, I admit, I find it difficult to fully empathize with trans people–I just don’t understand what it’s like, and I don’t think I ever will. I’ve come to a point where I accept both genders, and I try to accept them so fully that a boy is a girl in my eyes. It’s not always true, but I like both genders (bi, if you really have to label it), so it’s fairly easy.
TL;DR: I totally feel like Charlie’s mom BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IF YOU WERE BORN A DUDE BUT YOU’RE A GIRL IN YOUR MIND THEN GO FOR IT.
I know how you feel. I’m a cis-gendered female and also work in a male dominated field. While I mostly identify with the female gender, I HATE HATE HATE it when I’m told I have to behave in a certain way because I’m a woman (like plucking eyebrows and wearing makeup and sitting with my knees crossed) and I can’t or shouldn’t do certain things because it isn’t “ladylike” (like spitting and cussing and wearing a dress without pantyhose).
Sola, ViviWannabe,
You two effing rock!
Live and love.
I know this is an old comment and you might know better now, but you said “both” genders — there aren’t two genders. Gender isn’t strictly male and female, and past that it isn’t countable. It’s more of a great big ball of wibbly wobbly, gendy-wendy stuff.
(Sex isn’t countable either — there are blends.)
This sounds familiar…
This is my brain arguing with itself for the past 5 months. Except, you know, the other way around.
I’ve had this conversation with myself too, and it’s very frustrating. I realized that I’m trying to rationalize a feeling, and that’s damned near impossible.
I’ve come to the conclusion thus far that my gender identity is the cause, and not the result, of my discomfort living as a male. The stereotypes, standards and expectations that I can’t live up to, the feelings that I’m not supposed to have, and being unable to express those feelings with confidence and without feeling like I’ll get walloped for doing so. . . I’m not who I am because of this, but this shit is the way it is for me because of who I am.
Lost my point somewhere. . .
Charlie’s mom is a very understanding and liberal person, but sometimes she doesn’t quite get it. Like she’s awesome for saying like “Being feminine/masculine doesn’t MAKE YOU a girl/boy”… but she just doesn’t QUITE get how it’s different to be trans :/
Yeah, because a lot of it isn’t really how you see yourself-you see yourself as you. The big point in a lot of cases seems to be just how other people see you, and so that change in pronoun is really important. It’s like your entire image in one word.
I’m a little more like Tom here, and every time I go out and someone says “sir”, it gives me a little thrill. I keep count on a white board in my room. My roommate gets a kick out of it, and she likes telling me about times that I didn’t hear it.
The first time I got “sirred”, my dad was with me, and he went a little overboard in telling the saleslady I was a “she.” And then I told him I didn’t care. And he defaulted to “you’re confused and going through a phase.” …That was seven years ago. Must be a pretty long phase.
I’ve been getting ma’amed lately at work since i’ve grown my hair out. I know the feeling, its great.
Honestly the characters I love most in these comics are the parents. Well… except Jamie’s and Mark’s. When it comes right down to it from personal experience, I can say with all certainty that if it weren’t for the support of my family there’s no way in hell I’d have had the courage to come out, let alone begin my transiton, and so likely wouldn’t even be alive to type this. Not that they really knew or had any suspicions, and god knows I was terrified to tell them, but they never made me feel like I would have to fear being flat out rejected when I eventually came out. That’s the feeling I get from most of the parents in this comic, Steve’s, Alex’s, Tom’s, Charlie’s, and yes, even Amber’s. They might not ever really understand what their kids are going through, but they’ll damn well be there for them every step of the way, and THAT is how a parent should be. Much love for portraying that so well in these stories Tab. <3
Also… I love Charlie's mom, especially here, cuz I pretty much had the same conversation with my own. haha She (both my mom and Charlie's) sees gender as this fluid thing (which it is) that isn't defined by what we do or how we dress, but rather is defined by how we feel, and she just wanted me to be sure of how I felt before I began down a road I couldn't turn around and walk back down. Which.. suited me fine cuz after a year on hormones I haven't wanted to even look back once.
In short, the parents are my favorite part of these comics, especially the moms. <3 Again, except Mark and Jamie's.
Y’know, out of some weird reason reading this just made me cry. Gender… It’s a feeling, something no one can understand. But those who feel fine in their body and gender so often have trouble with understanding it… It just plain hurts.
I have a similar confusion as his Mum, I just don’t really get the concept of gender. If it weren’t for trans-people, I wouldn’t believe gender existed at all, but people wouldn’t put themselves through all that pain if they didn’t feel it was real, so I have to accept it’s existence.
This made me feel really bad for a long time, because I didn’t want gender to exist, because then I would have to have one. So now in my mental model of gender, I include an axis of “gender recognition” or whatever which determines how strong your gender identity is. Some people it’s strong, and they really feel they are a man or a woman, or a certain mixture, etc. Some people have 0 on this axis, and they feel they have no gender. That way, gender can still exist but in different “amounts” for different people. I think I’m a bit above 0, but it’s hard to say.
HER mum, not “his.” Charlie literally just said she uses “she/her” on this page.
Not having a gender is called agender. Being able to ignore gender is called privilege. I like thinking of gender as this great big sphere with two poles, and the sphere rotates in every single direction all the time and there are permanent settlements that become nomadic and nomadic groups that become permanent settlements, laws change and customs change and whispers fly across the oceans and new settlements form and none of them ever die. Many mix, many travel, many stay in their hometown their entire lives and never look out the window. Some live in the center of the planet and others live in the stars.