Comments on: Charlie’s Story Page 21

By: LoreWren

LoreWren — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 12:19:08 +0000

(In the non-religious sense, if that makes any sense.)

By: LoreWren

LoreWren — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 12:18:18 +0000

Bless you.

By: Joxter

Joxter — Sat, 05 Jan 2013 03:20:22 +0000

Yeah, I felt just like you until I developed a panic disorder that eventually forced me out, because it became a non-choice between staying closeted, and having life-disrupting seizures. If you can possibly do this for yourself and come out before things get that bad, please, please do.

Also, the first time you find a crush who likes you back for who you really are is worth it. It really is.

By: Silas

Silas — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 23:07:52 +0000

HER mum, not “his.” Charlie literally just said she uses “she/her” on this page.

Not having a gender is called agender. Being able to ignore gender is called privilege. I like thinking of gender as this great big sphere with two poles, and the sphere rotates in every single direction all the time and there are permanent settlements that become nomadic and nomadic groups that become permanent settlements, laws change and customs change and whispers fly across the oceans and new settlements form and none of them ever die. Many mix, many travel, many stay in their hometown their entire lives and never look out the window. Some live in the center of the planet and others live in the stars.

By: Silas

Silas — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 23:02:48 +0000

I know this is an old comment and you might know better now, but you said “both” genders — there aren’t two genders. Gender isn’t strictly male and female, and past that it isn’t countable. It’s more of a great big ball of wibbly wobbly, gendy-wendy stuff.

(Sex isn’t countable either — there are blends.)

By: standgale

standgale — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 11:10:22 +0000

I have a similar confusion as his Mum, I just don’t really get the concept of gender. If it weren’t for trans-people, I wouldn’t believe gender existed at all, but people wouldn’t put themselves through all that pain if they didn’t feel it was real, so I have to accept it’s existence.
This made me feel really bad for a long time, because I didn’t want gender to exist, because then I would have to have one. So now in my mental model of gender, I include an axis of “gender recognition” or whatever which determines how strong your gender identity is. Some people it’s strong, and they really feel they are a man or a woman, or a certain mixture, etc. Some people have 0 on this axis, and they feel they have no gender. That way, gender can still exist but in different “amounts” for different people. I think I’m a bit above 0, but it’s hard to say.

By: KayCat

KayCat — Sat, 13 Oct 2012 14:44:18 +0000

Y’know, out of some weird reason reading this just made me cry. Gender… It’s a feeling, something no one can understand. But those who feel fine in their body and gender so often have trouble with understanding it… It just plain hurts.

By: Habbap

Habbap — Fri, 28 Sep 2012 00:13:47 +0000

Honestly the characters I love most in these comics are the parents. Well… except Jamie’s and Mark’s. When it comes right down to it from personal experience, I can say with all certainty that if it weren’t for the support of my family there’s no way in hell I’d have had the courage to come out, let alone begin my transiton, and so likely wouldn’t even be alive to type this. Not that they really knew or had any suspicions, and god knows I was terrified to tell them, but they never made me feel like I would have to fear being flat out rejected when I eventually came out. That’s the feeling I get from most of the parents in this comic, Steve’s, Alex’s, Tom’s, Charlie’s, and yes, even Amber’s. They might not ever really understand what their kids are going through, but they’ll damn well be there for them every step of the way, and THAT is how a parent should be. Much love for portraying that so well in these stories Tab. <3

Also… I love Charlie's mom, especially here, cuz I pretty much had the same conversation with my own. haha She (both my mom and Charlie's) sees gender as this fluid thing (which it is) that isn't defined by what we do or how we dress, but rather is defined by how we feel, and she just wanted me to be sure of how I felt before I began down a road I couldn't turn around and walk back down. Which.. suited me fine cuz after a year on hormones I haven't wanted to even look back once.

In short, the parents are my favorite part of these comics, especially the moms. <3 Again, except Mark and Jamie's.

By: Laci

Laci — Mon, 06 Aug 2012 04:13:28 +0000

I’ve been getting ma’amed lately at work since i’ve grown my hair out. I know the feeling, its great.

By: lockpique

lockpique — Fri, 06 Jul 2012 16:32:57 +0000

Yeah, because a lot of it isn’t really how you see yourself-you see yourself as you. The big point in a lot of cases seems to be just how other people see you, and so that change in pronoun is really important. It’s like your entire image in one word.

I’m a little more like Tom here, and every time I go out and someone says “sir”, it gives me a little thrill. I keep count on a white board in my room. My roommate gets a kick out of it, and she likes telling me about times that I didn’t hear it.
The first time I got “sirred”, my dad was with me, and he went a little overboard in telling the saleslady I was a “she.” And then I told him I didn’t care. And he defaulted to “you’re confused and going through a phase.” …That was seven years ago. Must be a pretty long phase.

By: J

Mon, 18 Jun 2012 03:26:53 +0000

Charlie’s mom is a very understanding and liberal person, but sometimes she doesn’t quite get it. Like she’s awesome for saying like “Being feminine/masculine doesn’t MAKE YOU a girl/boy”… but she just doesn’t QUITE get how it’s different to be trans :/

By: Ezra

Ezra — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 09:48:19 +0000

oh noooo, celibate and friendless is a sad outcome =(

By: Micha

Micha — Thu, 31 May 2012 19:50:33 +0000

If it’s being said to try and discourage someone from being a transwoman, then I can empathize. However when I say things like that, it’s meant as encouragement, to empower someone to be who they feel they are no matter what they’re wearing. IE – “The heels aren’t what make you a woman. Feel free to wear them if you like em, but don’t ever think that your being a woman depends on what your wearing.” I feel that people shouldn’t have to justify their feelings, and they shouldn’t have to prove their trans (especially not through what they’re wearing). If you like wearing something, then that’s reason enough, but that’s not what makes you trans. It may be a source of affirmation, and tha’s a good thing. Point is, women who like blue jeans and sneakers are no less women than those who like stilettos.

In Charlie’s case, I get what you mean. I love Heather’s perception on gender, but Charlie’s point is valid too. It’s not what she does or what she wears that makes her a woman, it’s just who she is and how she feels. Everything else follows from that.

By: Micha

Micha — Thu, 31 May 2012 19:39:07 +0000

I’ve had this conversation with myself too, and it’s very frustrating. I realized that I’m trying to rationalize a feeling, and that’s damned near impossible.

I’ve come to the conclusion thus far that my gender identity is the cause, and not the result, of my discomfort living as a male. The stereotypes, standards and expectations that I can’t live up to, the feelings that I’m not supposed to have, and being unable to express those feelings with confidence and without feeling like I’ll get walloped for doing so. . . I’m not who I am because of this, but this shit is the way it is for me because of who I am.

Lost my point somewhere. . .

By: Micha

Micha — Thu, 31 May 2012 19:35:21 +0000

Sola, ViviWannabe,

You two effing rock!

Live and love.

By: Oryx

Oryx — Tue, 15 May 2012 01:45:47 +0000

This is my brain arguing with itself for the past 5 months. Except, you know, the other way around.

By: ViviWannabe

ViviWannabe — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 23:17:18 +0000

I know how you feel. I’m a cis-gendered female and also work in a male dominated field. While I mostly identify with the female gender, I HATE HATE HATE it when I’m told I have to behave in a certain way because I’m a woman (like plucking eyebrows and wearing makeup and sitting with my knees crossed) and I can’t or shouldn’t do certain things because it isn’t “ladylike” (like spitting and cussing and wearing a dress without pantyhose).

By: Garen

Garen — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 23:00:55 +0000

This sounds familiar…